tracy recently spilled her thoughts about identity and truth and what we choose to reveal. i happen to agree that it's rather exhausting hiding pieces and parts of myself from the world. at some point will i stop fearing rejection or is that a human constant?
regardless, the idea to clear the air appealed to me.,(as did her "your turn" invitation), so here goes my truth:
i worry about my marriage...too many of them fail. the idea of having kids both thrills me and makes me want to run and hide. it shames me that i lose my temper so easily. i'm a manipulator...sometimes i realize it and sometimes i don't. dogs and i don't often get along. sometimes church is a strain because of the happy mask you wear. i get wayyy too jealous of my friends. part of me is sad that i'll never be someone's maid/matron of honor...it would have been a responsibility i enjoyed. i don't enjoy chocolate and peanut butter mixed. i often quit when i am bad at something. i'm already thinking of changing jobs.
that DOES feel good.
funny how much all of us are alike in those secret longings and worries we nurture deep down inside ourselves. the jealousies and joys we hide because we don't think others will understand, and instead, all these little confessions you've done make me realize i'm not alone.
i mean, chocolate and peanut butter? blech.
Posted by: the cluck | September 01, 2009 at 06:56 PM
You don't love chocolate and peanut butter together?! Shame.
But I love you anyway :)
Posted by: tracy | September 04, 2009 at 12:26 PM