i read marco's comment (in myspace) to my previous post and it got me thinking. yes, there IS an undue (unfair?) amount of pressure placed on men. and when relationships go wrong, a lot of the blame gets placed there too. my thoughts? women expect men to be the leader, to take the lead. men are SUPPOSED to be the leaders in relationships. and in today's society, there is tons of reseach about how that's just not happening.
call it the product of broken homes, societal attitude, or what have you, but fewer and fewer men AND women are getting married in their early to mid-20's. is this necessarily a bad thing? i think not. because, like marco, i regret none of the choices that have taken me out of my comfort zone, away from all that is known, even into places where my only means of communication is extreme facial expression. i love my life. at the moment, i'm enjoying rediscovering the single me.
but then i look at my mom and dad. they were married at ages 18 and 22, respectively. those are ages that make people shake their head and mutter, "much too young." it hasn't been an easy road, but they've helped each other down it. and my father, amazing man that he was and is, even at that young age, was not afraid to make a lifelong, life-changing commitment.
so, what i think i'm saying is, to all my single friends out there - men and women. revel in the moment. enjoy each and every opportunity that comes your way and discover the you that you were meant to be. but do not be afraid of drastically altering that life and making compromises for another....especially when the results are so worthwhile.
Can you blame ANYONE for being gun-shy in regards to relationships these days? Yes, men are supposed to be leaders, but it's difficult to see beyond the role models in our lives. I, personally, haven't had that many men in my life whose decisions I want to mirror my own on.
I can only speak for myself (and, perhaps, a bit for my gender) but fear, sadly, plays a large role in every 'wrong' decision, relationship or otherwise. And the outward manifestation of fear looks different for each of us. I will not make excuses for men who make stupid mistakes in relationships, but there are dozens of sides to every story. Humans, and especially the different genders, tend to only see their own.
Me? I hope that God brings the woman who will be my wife into my life soon. Maybe He already has and I just haven't recognized it yet. But I also hope that that woman has an abundance of patience (and vice versa) and that my friends will keep me honest in confronting my fears.
And, until then...revel! You're right, Nicole. But perhaps, whether we're single or in a relationship, reveling is something that we should be personally reminded on from time to time by those who know us best.
I know I need a good knock on the head periodically...
Posted by: Jason | April 21, 2008 at 06:55 PM
It's a leap of faith, boys. You make a commitment and you hold on to each other. Together you'll climb mountains. Sometimes, you'll fall down. You'll experience joy and pleasure. Sometimes pain and despair. But that's life, right? And when you're in this kind of relationship, you'll have a partner who knows you, loves you and is committed to you -- even when you screw up.
I just celebrated 25 years of marriage. They weren't all great. A few were a struggle. But she's the love of my life, and marrying her was the smartest thing I ever did.
Don't be scared. And don't be stupid. Turn your back and she'll be gone.
Posted by: skip | May 02, 2008 at 01:03 PM